Why helping is not always helpful

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Are you a nice person?

Do you try to be helpful?

When people, like your kids, your team, your staff, come to you with a problem, do you love that feeling of being able to find a solution?

Me too!

Being helpful is a good thing.

Being tooooo helpful or attaching your self worth to the quality of your advice ........ well, that is the fast lane to burnout.


Most of us are so bloody busy that when someone shares their problem, we jump in after 30 seconds with advice and solutions. 

Often w…

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Busting Leadership Myths: You are Ready to Lead!

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Do you feel you are not brave enough, qualified enough, ready enough to lead confidently and authentically? 

Let me tell you a secret... You are ready to lead, NOW.


Myth 1

Leaders are men, in suits

Well, I think that Jacinda, Kamala and a bunch of other awesome women have blown that myth out of the water lately. When we only see men in power OR when the women we see are acting in a way that feels aggressive or masculine, then it is really easy to believe that you need to have balls to be a…

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This week in coaching

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Every Sunday, I share a newsletter with my list, and amongst other things, I share some of the coaching conversations that I have had. It seems that many of the themes are universal, so I will share those conversations here on the blog.

Questioning Assumptions and Back to Basics

I was coaching a Head of Learning Area in a secondary school this week, and she described 3 staff with very different personalities and how they were challenging her. Lots of ah-ha moments were shared in this coaching …

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Preparing for Leadership: A Conversation with Nancy Bonfiglio-Pavisich

Preparing for Leadership: A Conversation with Nancy Bonfiglio-Pavisich


I have known Nancy for many years and we share a common passion for developing aspirant and new educational leaders. In this video we talk about the work Nancy is doing in this field and the sage advice she has for those who are stepping into leadership roles. Importantly Nancy makes the point that you don't need to be in a promotional position to exemplify leadership.

Take a listen and let us know what you think.


Nancy Bonfiglio-Pavisich

Nanc…

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Simple Strategies for Dealing with Feedback

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A wise person once told me that feedback is a treasure hunt not a witch hunt. The idea is to look for the gold and if there is not much then to look for the lesson and what can be learned.

But most of us would rather have root canal surgery than give or receive corrective feedback and so we miss the treasure that someone might be handing us.

1. Stop Your First Reaction

At the first sign of critical feedback, before you do anything—stop. Really. Try not to react at all! You’ll have at least on…

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This week in coaching

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Every Sunday I share a newsletter with my list and amongst other things I share some of the coaching conversations that I have had. It seems that many of the themes are universal so I am going to share those conversations here.

Questioning Assumptions and Back to Basics

I was coaching a Head of Learning Area in a secondary school this week and she described 3 staff with very different personalities and how they were challenging her. Lots of ah-ha moments were shared in this coaching session. T…

Read more…

Asking for help is not a faux pas!

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Hands up if you are busy and could do with another pair of hands??

I think we all could.

But here's the thing…

You can! Below are some options but I want you to notice what your internal dialogue is telling you when you read them...

  • You can ask the people around you for help - your kids, your staff, your partner - and then keep them accountable.
  • You can pay people

Curious to know what the voices in your head are saying right now???

Let's pretend you are in a leadership role in a schoo…

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Can I get a round of applause for...

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Appreciation in the workplace can sometimes be tricky.

Do any of these things go through your head?

  • Praise one of them and ya gotta praise them all.
  • They get paid, don't they?
  • Yeah, but who notices ME??
  • I am always giving recognition but no one seems to notice.

NOW is absolutely the time to make sure that your workplace stops and acknowledges, recognises and celebrates individual contributions.

Why? Because everyone is exhausted and starting to feel that no one notices how hard they w…

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The Difference between Leadership and Management

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While we still argue the difference between management and leadership, for me, It's relatively simple. Management is understanding the complexity of any job. It's making things go around, making things work, making sure that things are what they are supposed to be. That we follow certain rules and structures that we are required to, to make the product, to sell the thing, to teach the kids, to serve our clients. And ultimately, to make a profit or to achieve our organisation's goals.

However, l…

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Trust and Authenticity

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Last month, I did a lot of driving which means I did a lot of thinking. And two topics I was musing a lot about were trust and authenticity.

There were a couple of completely unrelated events that got me intrigued, annoyed, and curious. Like all (good) writers, I write much better when I am pissed off than I do when I am positive. So I took these events and the emotions that they stirred up for me and got wondering.

Grab a cuppa and join me as I process this stuff.

Authenticity and Leadership…

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